Part 4. If I had a hammer…

Right. Joe had to get Mary to his parents place in Bethlehem. She’s spent all their money on taxis and sweets (he had found the taxi reciepts and wrappers stuffed down the side of the sofa along with the dvd Stepmom and a load of snotty tissues). Joe was just a humble carpenter…so he would make her a sledge. And haul her fat body all the way to Bethlehem. He hoped to God (Marys babies father) his parents had plenty of beer waiting. And twiglets. Joe did a mental high five about the twiglets.

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December 12, 2011. Tags: . The Only Way is Nazareth. Leave a comment.

Part 3. Lemsip is a drug not to be underestimated

Mary was festering in the lounge with a summer cold. All of a sudden an Angel appeared in front of her… Weird. She knew she should have heeded the packet advice and not had 2 lemsips within an hour.

The Angel told Mary she had to go and see Joe’s family in Bethlehem. “Jesus!” thought Mary. “That is all I need”. The Angel looked at the notes she had scribbled on her heavenly hands and also said they had to pay some taxis. Mary panicked. “I told Joe I walked to the shops and back! He’ll go mad!”.┬áThe Angel looked again at her notes “Sorry!” she said “sweaty hands. Taxes”.

Mary made herself feel better by deciding to lie and tell Joe the Angel told him to buy her some new shoes as well.

December 10, 2011. Tags: , , . The Only Way is Nazareth. Leave a comment.

Part 2. Today’s episode on Jeremy Vile “My Wife is pregnant…with GODS BABY!”

Joseph and Mary had a couple of rough weeks. But a theraputic spell on Jeremy Vile helped sort things out and calm things down. The Fireman with the axe shouting “DNA TEST! DNA TEST!” didn’t help matters, but being put up for free in a travel lodge in Manchester did give them some time to chat. (note to Mazza and Joe – make the most of it. I have a feeling hotel rooms make a limited appearence in this story).

December 9, 2011. Tags: , . The Only Way is Nazareth. 1 comment.

Part 1. And so it begins…

Mary had been feeling a bit peaky lately, but had put it down to celebrating Purim in style. Shocked does not even begin to describe it…WWJD? (what will Joseph do?)

December 8, 2011. Tags: , , , , . The Only Way is Nazareth. Leave a comment.